Keeping in good spirits after the world collapses can be rough, but there are many good reasons to brew your own wine, beer, and liquors. And it isn’t as hard or expensive as you think it might be, I can brew our beers for as little as eighty cents each, and the quality of my beer is without, well, peer. Besides, if the water goes bad home brew alcohol may be the only safe beverage out there, not to mention you will be the most popular guy in the neighborhood when the non brain eating portion of the populous finds out you are a brew-master. Its fun, cheap, and could potentially save your life if the world ends. Even Christ drank wine, so why not learn to brew? Buckle up, we are making the arduous journey from water to beer!
Though minimal equipment is used, I have included a basic list of things you will need to get the job done without headache. If you have never done this before, consider practicing with a kit first to ensure your success. Ultimately it will be your goal to complete the project from scratch, but starting smaller makes it easier for sure.
- 1 Large five gallon pot
- A good recipe and food stuffs for beer
- 1 simple dairy thermometer
- 1 glass carboy
- 1 six gallon plastic bucket with hole for fermentation lock
- 60 clean beer bottles and caps, with maybe a few to spare
- 1 siphon hose for bottling and clean transfer of the beer
- 1 hydrometer
- 1 fermentation lock
- 1 good bottle capper
- 1 gallon of bleach
- 2 bottle brushes for the carboy and bottles
- 1 giant ass spoon
- 1 large jar
- 1 measuring beaker
The first step in brewing beer is making sure everything is sanitized to an absurd level. Bacteria is your enemy, and will taint the taste of your beer. After everything is sterile, add three gallons of water to your big pot. Your chosen recipe will vary from variety to variety, but the basics are thus. You will boil malt extract and grains together, just like brewing abig cup of tea.
Then, the brew, (called Wort) is cooled with the wort chiller to about ninety degrees F and placed into the fermenting bucket. The hops are added and the yeast, be very careful to keep everything totally sanitary. Add the air lock and let the brew sleep for one to two weeks.
After the week or two is up, it is time to clarify! Transfer your immature (raw) beer to the clarifying carboy Move these items as little as possible to keep the crud on the bottom of the containers. Replace the air lock on the carboy and leave for seven to ten days.
Yeay! It’s time to bottle at last. So remove the beer from the carboy the same way that you moved it from the fermenting bucket. Now that it is in a sterile bucket again, add the bottling sugar. Dissolve the sugar in warm water and heat it just slightly so that it loses all grainy texture. Add it to the beer and use your bottling siphon to bottle that beer. Make sure that your caps are clean. Leave the beer for another week or so and then enjoy! If you avoided bacterial infection your beer will be free from zombie virus and your friends will rejoice!